The truth

is that I'm not very soft physically speaking, not a superhero or a doughboy. The Softest Person is just the name of my company. Right now I'm working on a doll with bullet-holes for eyes and a mouth sewn with a nail. Head pillows are great fun. This one is the presidential pillow. My girlfriend is asking me to make a Genet doll. It has an iris in its chest. My girlfriend loves carnations. She works in an office building and drink gin-and-tonics. She loves me for my money and I love her for the iris in her chest. She's a great swimmer. Once I almost drowned and she saved me. Once she almost drowned a kitten in a pond but I stopped her. She's a great swimmer, but she doesn't particularly love animals. She has a tattoo of a bled eagle right above her right butt cheek. She says this is a reference to her patriotism. She's very patriotic with a knife, but most of all she's patriotic with her hands inside the cabinet. We both love Indian pop music that sounds like the Beatles. Especially that song from the only Bollywood film set in Sweden. The actors look cold. That's what we like about that movie. And the music.